Monday, November 24, 2014

Mixtape 2014

Mixtape 2014

Everyone has their own taste in music. It's incredible how many different styles are out there! For me, music is my safe haven. Music is my everything. 

Now I'm a little resentful to share this because they are so dear to me, but I have compiled a list of my favorite jams and here's what I came up with:

Absolute must listen to:
Note: They are not in order of fav

But to be fair, the original 'Fake Empire' is also one my favs



When You Wanna Jammm:

The Love Club-Lorde
Kids-Mikky Ekko
Money On My Mind-Sam Smith
The Summer-Coconut Records
Lovely Cup-Grouplove
1996-The Wombats
My Number-Foals
All Eyes On You-St. Lucia
Rebellion-Arcade Fire
As We Ran-The National Parks
My Body-Young the Giant
Alive-Empire of the Sun
Riptide-Vance Joy
Lonely Boy-The Black Keys
Summerlong-Xylos
Ways To Go-Grouplove
Something Good Can Work-Two Door Cinema Club
White Lies-Max Frost
The King And All Of His Men-Wolf Gang
Your Woman-White Town
Afterlife-Arcade Fire
Take Me Home-Cash Cash (Chainsmokers Remix)
Thunder Clatter-Wild Club
The Night Out-Martin Solveig
I Need You-M83
Brighter Days-Saint Raymond
Honolulu-Last Dinosaurs
Tightrope-Walk the Moon
Jump Into the Fog-The Wombats
We Are the People-Empire of the Sun
Girls Like You-The Naked and Famous
We Own the Sky-M83
Shark Attack-Grouplove
We Come Running-Youngblood Hawke
Lions In Cages-Wolf Gang
Bridges-BROODS
Now Is the Start-A Fine Frenzy
Sun-Two Door Cinema Club
Midnight City-M83
Swim Until You Can't See Land-Frightened Rabbit
Walking On A Dream-Empire of the Sun
Dropla-Youth Lagoon
This Is Not the End-The Bravery
When I'm Small-Phantogram
Fall At Your Feet-Saint Raymond
Venice-The Lighthouse and the Whaler
Running Back to You-For the Foxes
Stay-Coasts
New In Town-Little Boots
Sushi-Kyle Andrews
Burning-The Whitest Boy Alive
Walk In the Park-Beach House
Raconte-Moi Une Historie-M83
Good As New-Vacationer
Go Outside-The Cults
Ribs-Lorde
Mother & Father-BROODS
Tokyo (Vampires & Wolves)-The Wombats
We Don't Eat-James Vincent McMorrow
Recover-CHVRCHES
Harold T. Wilkins-Fanfarlo
Fall In Love-Phantogram


For The Good Times:

Love On Top-Beyonce
Supermassive Black Hole-Muse
Move Your Feet-Junior Senior
September-Earth, Wind & Fire
Slam Dunk Da Funk-Five
Love Never Felt So Good-Michael Jackson & Justin Timberlake
Basketball-Lil Bow Wow
Uprising-Muse
Kangaroo Court-Capital Cities
Island In the Sun-Weezer
Give Me Love-Ed Sheeran
When You Were Young-Killers
New Born-Muse





Wowza that was a lot. Now go and listen to your favorite song and be happy. 

Monday, November 17, 2014

Sweet Disposition

Sweet Disposition

One of my absolute favorite songs is Sweet Disposition by The Temper Trap.(sweetdisposition.tempertrap)No matter how many times I have listened to it, it still touches my heart.  

At school today, we were told a student in our grade passed away. His name is Jacob Sparks. My heart is very heavy for his friends and family. I can only imagine the sorrow. My heart is particularly heavy on the fact that he was only 17. I have never met Jacob, but desire for him to experience more things in life than merely 17 years on the earth can supply. 

I was listening to Sweet Disposition and was moved in a way such as never before. The lyrics that touched me were:

"A moment of love
A dream
A laugh
A kiss
A cry
Our rights
Our wrongs
A moment of love"

As I have grown older, I have realized just what a small fraction of life I have experienced for myself! I want to go to college and know what it's like to succeed. I want to experience for myself falling in love. I want to get married. I want to travel to a country where I am completely out of my element. I want to learn how to love others unconditionally. I want to raise a family in the gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I want to stay up all night with my sick kids and comfort them. I want to dream, laugh, kiss, cry, be right, be wrong, be frozen in time at a 'moment of love'. I want to LIVE.

My 17 years on the earth have been so wonderful and filled with countless blessings. But each day is another day to LIVE. Another day to be grateful for simplistic pleasures. I am excited to live life. I long for Jacob to live a wonderful life and experience life for himself. For him to know what success, love, triumph, gratitude, dependency, bliss, etc feels like for himself. 

Be grateful for the simple pleasures. You never realize how much you might miss the sound of running water, a chuckle, a tear, dancing feet, or the warmth of the sun until it is gone.

"Life goes on one precious day at a time." 

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Purpose

Purpose

This year I was called onto Seminary Council. When I received the calling, my testimony was weak and I did not feel qualified in any way. I did not understand why God called ME. Out all the hundreds of young woman in my stake, why me? I did not consider myself a good example for others to follow, why would Heavenly Father choose me? 

It wasn't till tonight I understand my purpose on seminary council.

Tonight our Seminary Council got together with American Fork's Seminary Council. We had a devotional, played games, discussed what works with each council, etc.

On the way home from the get together, a young man on our own Seminary Council expressed the suffering he has endured with recently discovering he has depression. I had no idea what he was going through. He is such a light to everyone and is always seen with a smile on his face. This broke my heart. How could I not have noticed? Was I too concerned with my life and what I was going through to look for those who need me and need my help?

He expressed how he could not remember the last time he felt genuinely happy. I wanted to cry for him. Not because I felt sympathy, but because I do not believe anyone should feel they cannot feel real happiness and joy. My heart ached to take away his pain. During the car ride, I kept praying and praying that the Spirit would prompt me to say something that would give him comfort.

Matthew (another member of seminary council), was sitting in the back and shared with him the importance of a patriarchal blessing. Not to simply read it, but to know it. Memorize it. Go to it often for guidance and comfort. 

It was incredible to hear Matthew bare his testimony with the struggling young man and to witness the change in the young man. The Spirit touched his heart and bore witness to him that he is a beloved son of God.

Coming home, I have pondered my calling on seminary council. A specific quote came to my mind several times, "God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called". 

God has been preparing me for this calling all along. He has a work for me to do and needs me to 'Feed His sheep'. As Christ did, I will seek for opportunities to love and nurture Heavenly Fathers beloved children.

Seminary Council has been the biggest blessing for me my senior year. It is exactly what I need to become a disciple of Christ. 



Seminary Council 2014-15

Best bunch of kids in the wild wild west.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

The Benson Family

The Benson Family

Every Sunday we have family dinner at the table. Once we have all sat down and started eating, my dad will lead a gospel discussion. It wasn't till tonight that I realized how much I'm going to miss that. Hearing my parents and siblings bare their testimonies every Sunday evening, gathered around delicious food, all together. It is something I look forward to every week.

I want my future kids to grow up in a family just like my family. Centered around the glorious gospel of Jesus Christ. With a home filled with the spirit. I want each of my kids to feel loved and important. 

Tonight we watched, 'Little Woman', one of my mom's favorite movies to watch on Sunday as a family. With out fail, I will always cry in that movie. Not matter how many times I've seen it, the relationship between the four sisters and their mom, is beautiful and touches my heart. It reminds me a lot of my own family. I cherish the special time we have together all in the same house. When I grow up, I won't have the blessing of seeing them everyday anymore.

I am going to miss:
  • My Dad's Mrs.Doubtfire impersonation. He is the biggest goon I know, but I love him even more for that.
  • Family game night aka: compete to the death until you make it to the top and then proceed to gloat until everyone knows you are now supreme commander and chief of the household.
  • Adam's crazy dance moves or his Sponge Bob voices.
  • Watching all the NBA games with Drew. Who will scream and shout with me and act as if it's the end of the world when our team loses?
  • Alia's pumpin' toons. I might even dare say she is the best DJ in the Benson house hold. DJ A-baybay's got style.
  • Dancing endlessly around in the kitchen with Sarah Kay. She is known internationally for her impeccable and very...hmm..'unique' dance moves. Someday I may be as skilled as she is. 
  • My Mom. Haha she makes me laugh like none other. We have grown to become best friends and I will dearly miss our late-night talks. She is always there to listen to me. I am going to miss that immensely.
  • Jessica's loyalty. She is kind and compassionate. She will drop everything just to spend time with you. Odds are she'll even take you out to lunch, which is always nice. Especially Sean's Smokehouse (our favorite place to eat together). Jess is very loving.
  • And Kiersten. Oh my dear Kiersten. I can hardly comprehend the day when Kiersten and I will no longer live in the same house. It pains my heart to think I will one day be parted from my twin. Sure we will still see each other, but it will never be quite the same as it is now. Down the hall from each other. Always there to listen, laugh, dance, or talk. Our entire lives have been spent by each others side. 
Heavenly Father has blessed my with the most wonderful family I could possibly imagine. Each member of my family is absolutely amazing. I can honestly say, my brothers and sisters are my best friends. Growing older, I now realize just how important each and every one of them are to me. I love them dearly. I want them each to succeed and find happiness. I want them to each stay strong in the gospel of Jesus Christ, for that is the way to true happiness. My mom and I often talk about how incredible it will be to have every single member of our family in the temple together. I can hardly wait for that day.

I am eternally thankful to my Heavenly Father for blessing me with an amazing family. I will remain faithful and worthy to enter into the temple, where I can make covenants and then have a family of my own, filled with love and the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Benson Family 2011.

This was the last time our family was all together.

And yes, that is most certainly me in the blue shirt next to my dad and Alia. My oh my, how I have changed. 

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Jed Murri

November 4, 2014

Today I had the privilege of running into a dear friend, Jed Murri. Now it is not allowed in the state of Utah to simply say, 'Jed Murri', but rather, THEE Jed Murri. He is one of the most incredible people I have ever met. Not only is he a strong example to me, but to everyone he meets. He has the ability to make everyone feel loved and important. He is amazing.

During our years in high school together, Jed was my rock. I say rock because he is so spiritually strong and is constant. He doesn't change his standards for anyone. Whenever Jed was around, you wanted to be a little better. Not because Jed thought himself above others, but because he lived the gospel 100% no matter what. You wanted to shine as brightly as he did. 

But it wasn't just Jed, it was all those he chose to make his closest friends, for they too shone brightly! They all lived the gospel 100%! It was like being in the presence of Christ's disciples! You wanted to be better because they emulated Christ through their example. Among those were, Caleb Rodeboug (on the far right), Jed Murri (next in from Caleb), Cameron Yorgason (next in from Jed) and Porter Mattson (On the far left). They are some of the most elect young men I have ever met in my entire life.


These young men love and live the glorious gospel of Jesus Christ. Through them, I have come to know my Savior better and have gained a strong testimony of always standing in holy places. Tomorrow Jed will leave for the MTC and be a full-time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints serving in the London, England mission. I have no doubt that he will be an outstanding missionary. He knows the Book of Mormon to be true, he has firm testimony of the truthfulness of this gospel, and most importantly, he is a charitable disciple of Christ.  

Thank you Jed for choosing each day to be amazing. Go do good in England! And keep it classy over there you lil' stud muffin. 



Monday, November 3, 2014

The Not-So-Good Day

November  3, 2014

Today was what you would call a terrible day, to put in gently. But it didn't start that way. It actually started relatively wonderful. 

During my first period class, the Holy Ghost prompted me to talk with a kid in my class whom I had noticed had gotten a little sad over the past week. I acted on the prompting immediately. The conversation started with a simple, "Hey Matt, how's it going?". Attempting to cheer him up, I tried to talk about things that would spark his interest. We talked about videography (a career we both want to pursue) which then led to college. The spirit then prompted me to switch the conversation and share with him a conversation I had the previous night with Levi (my older sister Sarah's fiance). 

I shared with Matt how important it is to act on spiritual promptings (ironically enough) and to 'fight the natural man'. Levi said something the night before that changed my knowledge on the natural man. He said, "We are spiritual beings having a mortal experience." Before he shared this with me, I thought of the natural man as a constant battle we faced daily. I viewed the natural man as lazy and selfish. But now I think almost the opposite. I do not think it is in our nature to be selfish and slothful. I believe in our hearts that we want to do good continually and bring joy to others. It is satan's influence that causes us to be just the opposite, lazy and conceded, not the natural man. Alma 22: 12 states, "God created man after his own image", God isn't selfish or lazy, He is kind and caring. As His children, we are the same. (This scripture may also be found in Genesis 1: 27) 

I noticed an immediate change in Matthew. We was happy and more of himself again. I was very thankful God allowed me to serve and bring joy to even one person. So then how was my day so terrible? Well, it was all because I listened to that stupid, little, negative, voice inside my head. This year I was called onto Seminary Council. We have meetings every Monday. Usually these meeting make me super happy and spiritually uplifted. Today was different. 

I arrived to the meeting a few minutes late. Yikes! I cannot stand being late! It's so disrespectful and dumb! Oh man, I just hate it. So I tried to forget about my careless mistake, and feel the spirit in our meeting. As we went around the room sharing experiences we had during the week that brought us closer to our Savior. I began to feel very insignificant. These kids are amazing! I mean for goodness sakes they could all be the next prophets and general young woman's leaders of the church! They are incredible. And I'm just..eh. Slowly I felt lower and lower about myself. Did I even belong on seminary council? I've made countless mistakes and all these kids are perfect!

I wish I could say I left the meeting with a better attitude than when it began, but sadly I did not. I allowed satan and self-doubt to bring me down. 

Still hopeful and optimistic, I sprinted to my computer to write my dearest friend Elder Caleb Clark (I'll share more about him another day), as soon as I got home. I was ecstatic to do something good for someone else so I could be happy again and forget about myself! Caleb's letter the week before was really hard for me. He shared of his trial of learning a new language and having to learn to rely on faith in God to help him. It is frustrating for me to not be able to help someone to my best abilities. I mean it's not like I can text him or call him or be there for him anything like that! I have to simply email, an ancient art really, once a week! And it's hard waiting an entire week to hear from your best friend! There's so many things you want to say but have to sum it up so they don't spend their entire P-day reading one email! Geez. You could say Missionary Monday is my new favorite day of the week. 

All week I prayed and prayed and prayed Heavenly Father would help me know what to say so that Caleb would not feel so isolated and down on himself. Caleb was always there for me when I needed comfort, so by golly, I am sure going to be there for him when he needs me.

Before I began the email, I opened with a prayer. The Spirit started to help me know what to say, which was a tremendous blessing. Not realizing what time it was, I panicked when I saw the clock said 4:20 by the time I finished!! Caleb gets on his email from roughly between 4-4:30ish. Ahhh! If I hadn't stayed for so long at the seminary council meeting to help clean up, I wouldn't be in the situation I am now! What if he doesn't get my email in time and thinks I moved to Ohio to join a band of gypsies and have forgotten all about him?! He has a lot of people to email and is a busy missionary! How could this be happening?!

4:30 rolled by...no email. 5:00 rolled by...no email. 5:15 rolled by...no email. 5:30 rolled by...still no email. To cut it short, I did not receive an email today. Which made my already great day even better. I was heart broken. How could God let this happen? Why couldn't he stay on for just 5 more minutes? Was I being a little dramatic? Yes. But Caleb's emails are the only way I get to talk to him personally. Just me and him. I was crushed. For goodness sakes my mom and my twin sister Kiersten even got a personal email from Caleb! I was in a melancholy mood to say the least. 

I went back up to room to wallow in self pity. I was so mad and disappointed. After pondering for a while, I realized the only person I was thinking about was myself. I was angry and was being over-dramatic. Perhaps there was a lesson God needed me to learn.

I glanced over at my camera and remembered a photo I had taken yesterday of the glorious sunset. I looked at the picture again. I then remember that God has a purpose for everything. We may not understand why certain things happen, but all things are for our good. If we look for His hand, we will find it. It may be in a sunset or in an answer to prayer or a spiritual prompting, He is always there. 

Although things didn't quite turn out the way I wanted them to, there was still good to be had and people who needed my light. Don't let the trials of today dictate the marvelous miracles of tomorrow. "Lift up your head and be of good cheer, for behold, the time is at hand" (3 Nephi 1:13).



The picture turned out pretty good if I do say so myself.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

People

People

"And becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willingness to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father." (Mosiah 3:19)

I remember as a child having the ability to be friends with anyone and everyone. Immediately I would love them with out even knowing very much about them. I didn't need to know what their favorite color was or what interests we had in common to love them, I loved them because they were human. 

As I have grown older, I have lost this ability to love unconditionally. I have allowed judgment and criticism to restrict me from loving anyone and everyone as easily as I once did as a child. In society, it is what we do. At first glance we immediately begin to make accusations or put people into certain 'categories' of social status. This could also be called, 'first impressions'. If a man is homeless, it is because he did not work hard enough or care enough to make a better life for himself. But did we even think about the suffering he went through or how he came to be this way? With out even talking to someone, we can infer their life. We do not mean to judge, but being human, it is just what we do.

But if you never let go of judgment and criticism, you will never get to know how truly incredible and amazing every single person is. After all, we all are the same. We all want is to feel loved, important, and like we have a purpose. Let that influence you before you judge someone. Think of how they need more love, or how they might feel insignificant, or that they are lost. Wouldn't you want someone to do the same for you?

This is the greatest concept I have learned my senior year in high school. I have gone to the same school with the same kids for four years. Hello? Of course I know everything about every single person. Duh? Nope. Wrong. It has been the most amazing experience to learn how to love anyone and everyone again. It brings so much happiness. People will surprise you with how similar they are to you. They, too, are looking for friendship and to feel like they matter. 

At times, it isn't easy to love EVERYONE. Some people might drive you crazy! Some people might not even be kind to you, so why should you be kind to them? (John 21:17) "Lovest thou me? And he saith unto him, Yea, Lord, thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith into him, Feed my sheep." 

The Savior asked Simon three times if he loved him, and he replied three times with, "Yea, Lord, thou knowest that I love thee", but did Simon truly love the Savior? Do we truly love the Savior? Are we loving all those around us unconditionally as the Savior would? Are we serving our fellow men?  We are His hand and His feet. Christ has asked that we simply, 'Feed my sheep' to show that we love Him. 

Decide today to love a little more than the day before. Become as  a little child, kind, gentle, and caring. Cherish the friendship you have and listen more to those who need you and need your time.  Live as if it were your last day on earth.

'Feed my sheep'